Kazoo night, or how do these things happen?

[What follows is a post I made for the Section 328 website back in 2015 back when I was writing for them semi-regularly. That site is gone, but sometimes I can manage to pull up the content from archive.org. From time to time, I'll post one if I can clean it up and fix the links and it's not too overly dated - or in this case it being overly dated is part of the fun. Anyway, it's a fun kickback to the bad old days that new fans didn't get to experience. Enjoy?]

Losing streaks make you do odd things. Anyone here at the 328 World Headquarters will tell you that. Going into the Toronto game last Friday, our beloved Canes were 1–4–2 for the month of November and in the middle of a five-game homestand that had begun with two overtime losses in games where the Canes held a 2–0 lead and a 4–1 loss to a struggling Anaheim Ducks team that barely moved the needle on the Canes Give-A-Fuck-O-Meter.

Enough was enough, and soon after the Anaheim game, the 328 crew dubbed the Toronto game an “Alternate Jersey Night”. Yes, the Canes would be playing in their black jerseys — their “alternates”, but our “alternate jerseys” were non-Canes jerseys. We had plenty for varying reasons, so the wardrobe for the game was already set. That part was planned; what would follow wasn’t.

The day of game, the Canes announced their projected lines, which included the NHL debut of recent callup Jaccob Slavin[[1]], meaning the Canes would be dressing a completely American blue line squad. This was a big deal because ‘MURICA, and there was a lot of discussion online of goal songs and various other patriotic things. Discussion of our “All American Boys” (“boys” being key since half of our blue line still referred to away games as “field trips”) reminded me of perhaps the most “All American” tag team in professional wrestling history: The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers.

Look up the lyrics to that Rougeau Brothers theme after you get done reading this — you’re in for a treat. [NEARLY 10 YEARS LATER ED. NOTE: or, like, click below.]

Anyway, outside of their wonderfully gaudy jackets and Ray Rougeau’s mustache, the thing that people remember about the Rougeaus are those tiny American flags they waived so obnoxiously to prove their American-osity. I wanted those flags. I wanted everyone to have them who wanted them. So, I went to Party City looking for a giant bag of tiny American flags for us to wave. Surely this wouldn’t be a problem.

Yeah, it was. Not one flag in the place. I asked an employee and he kind of laughed at me, I guess because asking for American flags not around July 4th was ridiculous. (NOTE: it was barely a week after Veteran’s Day, but whatevs.) But one thing Party City does have is cheap random crap. Treasure boxes in doctor’s offices, reward boxes in elementary schools, those stupid little bags of stuff your kid brings home from birthday parties — this is where it all comes from. While I was going through all the wonderful random junk, something made little devil Workrate pop up on my shoulder.

But I walked away. I was mad at Party City for being un-American. I was off to Walmart, where SURELY I would be able to get American flags. If any place was ‘MURICA, it was Walmart. Plus, it was right down the road. My Walmart run yielded four, just FOUR Rougeau-sized American flags, and I vented my frustration[[2]]

but as I did that, those kazoos stuck in my head.It was an invitation for trouble. After all, kazoos are loud and obnoxious, but then again, so were we. I considered the fans around us, but if you’ve sat near us, you’ve either 1) learned to tolerate the constant noise coming from our area or B) left already. I drove back to Party City and picked up a dozen, and left a cryptic message to my followers.

I passed some out at the tailgate beforehand, and some once we went to sit in our seats. Despite “Oh Canada” being a great song to cover via kazoo, we remained respectful of both anthems, only to listen to that evening’s guest anthem singer (no Amanda Bell) and realize that the kazoos would have been welcomed.

Here’s the thing — it worked. Not for winning (the Canes still dropped an overtime loss to Toronto), but the kazoos — while toeing the line of being full-on annoying — actually accompanied the regular crowd noise well. Let’s remember that the other two noisemakers normally heard during Canes games are vuvuzelas and cowbells, so really — kazoos are a step up. Some Canes staff seemed to dig them

and some have the blackest of hearts

Pipe down over there @Section_328  — Colleen (@C0lleenHamilton) November 21, 2015 [since deleted]

but it was fun, and when your team isn’t playing all that great, you sometimes have to look outside of watching the team to make the gameday experience more enjoyable. While we generally stayed with the sounds of the arena, kazooing along with the music being played or the “Let’s Go Canes” chants, every once in a while we would break into spontaneous song, like when my eleven-year-old started kazooing the White Stripes “Seven Nation Army” and everyone else ended up joining in. Everyone was having fun, and we got the perfect #FreezeFrames shot, except for the fact that no one was wearing Canes gear, and well, you’re not going to get on the big screen wearing Nordiques, Islanders, and Coyotes jerseys.

The next game, it was gone. Kazoo Night is elusive like the wind. When will it return? We may never know. Kazoo Night was full of goodness, but much like Opening Night Tailgates, if we did it every game, it would lose its charm, and we probably wouldn’t survive the season. When will the next one take place? Will another one take place? Stay tuned to the @Section_328 Twitter account for clues.

Footnotes:

[[1]]: Holy shit, Kazoo Night was the same night as Jaccob Slavin's NHL debut? No wonder the guy keeps signing for under market value - I'd stay here forever too if I got to hear that

[[2]]: not really — Ruffles All Dressed chips are a gift from the Great White North and need to stay forever